I have always been on my own, I have spent two lifetimes alone,
but never the time that I kept to myself, never had it felt so long.
My thoughts race in my mind, I hunt feelings inside of me of every kind,
and never have I felt so lonely, in my life.
I feel exhausted; my life source is drained, I feel I can take it no more.
In my thoughts all alone, falling behind, I can keep up no more with my mind…
I am thinking of centuries, past before now, I think of the failure I’ve been,
of the people I’ve harmed and the feelings I’ve hurt, of those that believed in me.
I am all alone, in a place forsaken, not a voice has been heard in years,
all the days I’ve spent, alone with my thoughts, have all been wet with tears.
I have always been alone and forsaken but never had I felt like this,
for this is the time that rebels my mind and presents to me scenes of past deeds.
For all the years of arrogance, that I didn’t care, for those that felt something for me.
For days I would let them to cry and suffer, It’s my turn to suffer for it.
I’m reminded of my faults and those friends that I had, a couple of light years ago,
far before now, when I was not sad, when I still knew that love was the law.
I’m reminded of the times that I was wrong, feeling of all guilt absolved,
when I still immature, with the brain of a child, hurt all those that I truly loved.
There were just One that believed in me, that actually tried to love me,
but what for her I had in store, were pain and tears and agony.
I am in a house forsaken by all, by those that I have betrayed,
all the pain that I got and the suffering also, makes each of my sins fairly paid.
For I have been lying to all that I loved and I even lied to myself,
and deep under my lies I covered my love so it’d never ever get hurt.
I have been so alone for centuries now and never really understood
that there actually were a reason for the torture that I had to go through.
My mind has been racing to its deepest corners and my heart has not taken a break
from the frenzy I’m in and the agony I feel, although I deserved all the pain.
I concluded at last and now I know but indeed it’s far too late
I am sorry for her that I loved but preferred to only indulge her in hate.
In a house alone I live in memories of the one person that I really loved
but I never managed to let her know of my feelings till the time I was left all alone.
In tears, my years, I live on my own. Alone.
Forgotten, forsaken, far away. Like today.
In tears, my years, I will live all alone, without the people I want
and in memories I will live the anamnesis of the one, that I love.