[THiNK]

pain, tears like rain; nothing exists to keep me sane.
suffering, torture, nothing beautiful exists; my life pain and sorrow inflicts.
you, nothing was true; now what to do?
you left me behind, forgotten, why am i here? shear fear, no one is near.
gone away, betray; what is left to say?
don’t say you’re sorry, since you don’t believe;
just turn around, don’t look at my tears; just leave.

sadness, (on the edge of) madness;
a life on your side of vagueness.
suffering, pain pushing the walls of my head;
eyes bleeding tears, making me wish i were dead.

Look at the moon, meeting my doom; it all ends soon.
grieving your loss, mourning since the moment you went;
a time of distress, a life so twisted and bent.

Love is not taught, love is not bought,
Love was much more than what you thought.
Love shouldn’t be lost, should not be tossed,
Love should have never been double crossed.

Love should be held up high,
like a baby’s cry,
like the last wish of someone about to die.
Love is the ultimate truth,
the utter ideal,
love is what you failed to keep real.

Love is depicted in the beloved’s eyes,
love is what died under your murderous lies.
Love is all happiness, the meaning of life,
love’s what you killed with your existence of strife.

Me, nothing to see; my life’s as meaningful as an endless marquee.
hoping, wishing, trying to forget; dismissing your image, i never thought I’d regret,
the first moment we met.

I have always been on my own, I have spent two lifetimes alone,
but never the time that I kept to myself, never had it felt so long.

My thoughts race in my mind, I hunt feelings inside of me of every kind,
and never have I felt so lonely,  in my life.

I feel exhausted; my life source is drained, I feel I can take it no more.
In my thoughts all alone, falling behind, I can keep up no more with my mind…

I am thinking of centuries, past before now, I think of the failure I’ve been,
of the people I’ve harmed and the feelings I’ve hurt, of those that believed in me.

I am all alone, in a place forsaken, not a voice has been heard in years,
all the days I’ve spent, alone with my thoughts, have all been wet with tears.

I have always been alone and forsaken but never had I felt like this,
for this is the time that rebels my mind and presents to me scenes of past deeds.

For all the years of arrogance, that I didn’t care, for those that felt something for me.
For days I would let them to cry and suffer, It’s my turn to suffer for it.

I’m reminded of my faults and those friends that I had, a couple of light years ago,
far before now, when I was not sad, when I still knew that love was the law.

I’m reminded of the times that I was wrong, feeling of all guilt absolved,
when I still immature, with the brain of a child, hurt all those that I truly loved.

There were just One that believed in me, that actually tried to love me,
but what for her I had in store, were pain and tears and agony.

I am in a house forsaken by all, by those that I have betrayed,
all the pain that I got and the suffering also, makes each of my sins fairly paid.

For I have been lying to all that I loved and I even lied to myself,
and deep under my lies I covered my love so it’d never ever get hurt.

I have been so alone for centuries now and never really understood
that there actually were a reason for the torture that I had to go through.

My mind has been racing to its deepest corners and my heart has not taken a break
from the frenzy I’m in and the agony I feel, although I deserved all the pain.

I concluded at last and now I know but indeed it’s far too late
I am sorry for her that I loved but preferred to only indulge her in hate.

In a house alone I live in memories of the one person that I really loved
but I never managed to let her know of my feelings till the time I was left all alone.

In tears, my years, I live on my own. Alone.
Forgotten, forsaken, far away. Like today.

In tears, my years, I will live all alone, without the people I want
and in memories I will live the anamnesis of the one, that I love.

Have you ever felt the rain, Slowly licking down your spine?
Have you ever tasted pain, By the one you loved in time?

Have you ever seen the sun, Being consumed into eclipse?
Have you ever tasted poison, By the one’s you loved red lips?

Have you ever had a dream, That so brightly felt as real?
Have you ever requested a contract sealed by a kiss for seal?

Do you know what it is like, For the time to always fly?
Have you ever heard a newborn, Out of fear and fright cry?

Have you ever seen a feline, Fight to death to save her child?
Do you know of the sadness, and the tears of the retired?

Have you ever thought of something, That you’d love to never end?
Can you even realize, All the lies you had me fed?
As for you I once prayed, I now have just one request,
And to God I shall enquire, that your pain shall have no rest.

If there’s love onto this world, shall it never come to you,
Don’t you think my curse is fair? I just feel it’s only due.
Obviously you have no clue, why I told you of the rain,
Of the feline and the sun, and the rest that sound insane,
Obviously you do not know, of the virtues of the pure,
Honesty, respect and love, truth and strength against the allure.
Obviously you cannot love, since you’re a slave to your desire,
Obviously you cannot tell, why I’m pure while you’re a liar,
Obviously you weren’t taught, not to hurt all others’ feelings,
Betrayal and Disappointment lead to most of all love killings.

May you now rest in peace, This shall I regret the least.

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